The Argument transcript
Nickelodeon Announcer: "And now, back to The Fairly Oddparents, right here, on Nickelodeon." Episode Title Card: The Argument Scene 1: Outside the Turner's house Timmy: "Hey, Chester, catch!" Timmy throws the blue Frisbee over to Chester, and he catches it with both hands. Chester: "Go long, Sparky!" Chester throws the blue Frisbee over to Sparky, and he uses his mouth to catch it as well. Timmy: "Man, we can always do this every single year." Mr. Turner steps right outside....... Mr. Turner: "Okay, sunshine: check, bluebirds: check, young kids playing: check, it looks like everything's going good so far." Mr. Turner notices the crabgrass on his front lawn.... Mr. Turner: "Crabgrass!" Mr. Turner: "The defiler of lovely lawns everywhere, my response must be swift and powerful." Mr. McBadBat: "Hey, Mr. Turner, I'm just trimming up the old hedges right before they begin throwing off pollen." Mr. Turner: "I'm gonna need my lawn chopper back." Mr. McBadBat: "Gosh, I gave that thing back 3 days ago." Mr. Turner: "You must've forgot, forgot about my Lawn Chopper 300 as seen on television?!?" Mr. McBadBat: "I don't think so, it's probably in your garage, why don't you check?" Mr. Turner: "It's probably in your garage." Mr. McBadBat: "I already told you, I gave it back, you goofball." Mr. Turner: "And I'm telling you that you didn't, tool-hog." Mr. McBadBat: "Slime-brain!" Mr. Turner: "Country-jockey!" Mr. McBadBat: "Knucklehead!" Mr. Turner: "Just because my lawn is beautiful and silky while yours is limp and very hard to manage..." Mr. McBadBat: "What?!? there's nothing wrong with my lawn." Mr. Turner: "Oh, please, dandelions, gopher holes, and these tacky ceramic lawn ducks--please!" Mr. McBadBat: "Oh yeah?!? well, what about your stupid crazy lawn chickens? they're the laughingstock of the entire neighborhood." Mr. Turner: "No way, you put that down right now!" Mr. McBadBat: "Hey, look at me, cluck, cluck, cluck, I'm a stupid crazy lawn chicken, cluck, cluck..." Shatter Mr. McBadBat: "whoops-a-daisy." Mr. Turner: "Miss Clucks-a-lot!" Mr. Turner: "This is the final chapter, McBadBat, from this point on, we're now mortal enemies." Mr. McBadBat: "Well that goes double for me too." Mr. Turner goes right over to where Timmy, Chester and Sparky are standing. Mr. Turner: "Timmy, send Chester back home, from now on we'll have nothing to do with him or anybody named McBadBat or anybody who's ever lived in a trailer park." Timmy: "But, Dad, Chester's my best friend for life." Mr. McBadBat: "Not anymore, Timmy, come on, Chester, from now on, the McBadBats and the Turners are sworn enemies." Mr. Turner: "Alright, Timmy, into the house, the air out here is thick with the stench of McBadBats." Chester: "Goodbye, Timmy, I'll never forget about you." Timmy: "Don't worry about it, Chester, an argument can't last for a very long time." Timmy is now taken inside their house, and the sign on the front door says, No McBadBats Allowed For Good. Meanwhile in Timmy's bedroom...... Timmy: "Alright, you guys, I wish I had a hologram projector." Cosmo: "You got it, Timmy." Cosmo, Wanda and Poof magically conjure a hologram projector. Timmy: "Wow, thanks, you guys." Timmy: "Timmy to Chester, Timmy to Chester, are you receiving me?" Holographic Chester: "Sure thing, Timmy, I'm now prepared for our game of holographic Star Hunters." Timmy: "Well, have it at you then!" Timmy and Holographic Chester begin playing their holographic video game, 'til Mr. Turner shows up. Mr. Turner: "Aha, I knew it, Chester, I've got nothing against you personally, but this is a McBadBat free house right now." Mr. Turner turns off the hologram projector. Holographic Chester: "Goodbye, Timmy." Timmy: "Dad, it's just not fair." Mr. Turner: "Now, Timmy, I know this is hard for you, but you'll make other good friends, non McBadBat friends." Timmy: "But I wanna hang around with Chester, and sooner or later, I'll invent some ways to get around this argument, but hey, thanks a bunch for reminding me." Mr. Turner is hammering more signs on the doors... The very next morning........ Timmy: "Mom, I can't live like this, you've gotta do something about it." Mrs. Turner: "Way ahead of you, honey cakes, Fathers can be such crazy heads, that's exactly why I baked a boysenberry pie as a peacefulness offering to the McBadBats." Timmy: "Of course, Mom, nobody can stay angry and fed up when they're eating 1 of your baked goods." Mrs. Turner: "They never failed yet, so I'll have this ridiculous argument straightened out in the nick of time." Timmy: "Good ol' Mom, if anybody can get things back to normal, it's her business." Timmy opens the bottom cabinet to find AJ hiding in there. Timmy: Startled "AJ, what were you doing in there?" AJ: "I'm here to bring you and Chester back together again through my "Reach Out and Touch a Good Friend" program." Timmy: "What the heck is that?" AJ: "Well, for just 5 bucks a month, I'll secretly deliver messages between you and Chester, he's already selected a rap-theme greeting for an additional 7 cents 1 word." Beat Begins Playing In Background AJ: Throat Dear Timmy, how are you? what's up? what's new? Look, our dads won't listen It's you I've been missin' and it makes me depressed and blue, jokers AJ: Please respond--your best friend for life, Chester. AJ: "5 bucks, please." Timmy: "Look, AJ, this isn't necessary, my mom's over at Chester's trailer patching up the argument right now." Mr. McBadBat: (off screen) "Oh, sweet heavens!" Timmy and AJ rush out to see what's going on. Mr. McBadBat: "Oh, somebody, please, get my back, get my back!" Chester's Grandmother: "You knew my son was allergic to boysenberry pie, you're just a counterpart for that hateful husband of yours." Mrs. Turner: "Hateful?!? you take that back!" Chester's Grandmother: "Never, allergy-giver." Mrs. Turner: "Seed spitter!" Chester's Grandmother: "Sea-witch!" Mrs. Turner: "Grouch-woman!" Chester's Grandmother: In Shock Mrs. Turner: "Timmy, I don't want you ever to mention the word Chester or McBadBat again." Slams Timmy: "AJ, can you arrange a meeting with Chester?" AJ: "You're in luck, Timmy, I'm having a special this month on super-secret meetings, might I suggest a Mexican bandito theme?" Later outside....... Chester: "Hi there, Timmy." Timmy: "Chester, please, we need to do this by the book." Chester: "Oh, sorry about that." Chester: "Hola, Señor Cactus, ¿¿qué tal?" Timmy: "Look, you guys, can we just get on with this?" AJ: "Whatever, it's your cash." Timmy: "It's really good to see you, Chester, but do you have the components I need?" Chester: "Why sure, Timmy, here's the perpetual motion gyro top you gave me last year, and here's the non-sucking, hydraulic loopy sock you gave me." Timmy: "Just great, my dad thinks he's cut me off from wishing, but he forgot about Sparky, and by combining these parts, I'll devise a choloro-plastic crabgrass excelerator." Chester: "But, Timmy, our dads hate crabgrass." Timmy: "Exactly, Chester, faced with an outbreak of crabgrass, they'll need to forget their argument to save their lawns." AJ: "This oughtta do the trick." Timmy: "After all, magic wishes have never let any of us down before, ready, you guys?" Category:Transcripts